What do women want to get liberated from? The greatest pleasure isn't sex, but the passion with which it is practiced. Do not have sex with the authorities. © V 4 C Funny Sexy Poems The sky was dark the moon was high all alone just her and I Her hair so soft her eyes so blue I knew just what she wanted to do Her skin so soft her legs so fine I ran my fingers down her spine I didn't know how but I tried my best to place my hand on her breast I remember my fear my fast beating heart but slowly she spread her legs apart And when she did I felt no shame as all at once the white stuff came At last it was finished it's all over now, my first time. If your name's not there, you know you're not dead Just fix some breakfast and go back to bed. It is at the root of life and has to be understood fully to experience it. © V 4 C Funny Sexy Poems The Frog and the Princess Once upon a time, in a land far away, While resting from her morning jog A beautiful, self-assured princess Happened upon a frog She was contemplating ecological issues On the shores of an unpolluted pond In a verdant meadow near her castle. Now you're stuck you silly bastard © V 4 C Hey Diddle, Diddle, The cat did a piddle, All over the bedside clock.
Never apologize for showing feeling. Met three whores in a pop-up tent. After just a few minutes, he heard someone call his name, and to his great chagrin he saw one of his fellow members walking towards him. If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't! So one summer day he told his members he was going on a vacation. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection.
Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy of life. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son. When men are married, the brides get the presents and the publicity. Although Bob did not usually pick up the phone, he picked it up and said hello. If pornography is a , when will they arrest makers of perfume? Bob Smith was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. She had complained dozens of times to her daughter about her newest gag of kissing the bathroom mirror immediately after applying lipstick, but it was all to no avail.
No matter what corruption they're taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which they cannot perform for any motive but their own enjoyment - just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity! Did you ever notice how. But though your hair has turned to grey And your skin no longer fits, On the inside, you're the same old you, And I love you still, to bits. His forehead wet with beads of sweat He rubbed her, here and there. I knew this would cheer you up on your birthday Jon Bratton © 2007 adapted from other work by unknown author © V 4 C One day, two women Walked into a loo I'd have thought one of them would have seen it Wouldn't you? If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. And now you're old and feeble And your pilot light is out, What used to be your sex appeal Is now your water spout. Regarding him as the veritable master of witty one-liners on sex, I thought it fitting to give him the closing say--to allow his unusually clever jests to represent, well, the final climax.
Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72. He reached his quest it was wide and wet Sort of dark and murky. Does he always show up on time? He just needed to try some pork, just to see what it tasted like. When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it. On my desk, I have a work station… Tough times never last, but tough people do. A witty person is any person who possesses a sharp mind which is quite vigilant and receptive. © Jon Bratton 2004 © V 4 C You've got arthritis in both your knees And when you talk, you tend to wheeze.
At some level, most of us can appreciate that many comic utterances betray profound truths about ourselves--truths we might not be willing to look at without their being framed humorously. And certainly they tend toward the outspoken, irreverent, and at times outrageous. © Jon Bratton 2004 Adapted from a limerick © V 4 C From Funny Sexy Quotes Page Jesus paid for our sins Now let's get our money's worth. Your pulse is weak, your blood is thin Your memory's failing, your head's in a spin How do you know your youth is spent? Some are quite , some almost hilariously paradoxical, and others I think simply hilarious. To me, our culture takes the crucial matter of sex much too seriously. Love is our response to our highest values - and can be nothing else. © V 4 C Funny Sexy Poems Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, Her clothes all tattered and torn.
© V 4 C Funny Sexy Poems The rain, it raineth on the Just And on the Unjust fella. © V 4 C Funny Sexy Poems When you were in your younger days, You weighed a few pounds less, You needn't hold your tummy in To wear a belted dress. . Don't over-squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests. © V 4 C Women Lib! Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Witty people can even associate two objects or entities which hardly have any relation and surprise everyone with the kind of association that they establish. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. Finally, one day after spending a half hour scrubbing the mirror, only to find another kiss mark an hour later, Lauren had enough. When she bent over Rover took over And gave her a bone of his own © V 4 C Spider, spider on the wall. Ain't you got no sense at all? When men are born, the mothers get the compliments and the flowers. © V 4 C Funny Sexy Poems As I write out this card I've gone into a dream, Thinking of you smothered All over, in whipped cream.
They will always be attracted to the person who reflects their deepest vision of themselves, the person whose surrender permits them to experience - or to fake - a sense of self-esteem. © V 4 C Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair. He replied frankly: 'because everything does. A bus station is where the bus stops. She can't wait to disprove it. But feeling amused, we may be able to recognize and however begrudgingly accept that, overcome by lower instincts and desires, we're quite capable of being like that, talking like that, reacting like that.